In other news, **** the Girl Scouts with an iron stick.
Devil in a Blue BoxI made resolutions to eat better and exercise more intelligently (i.e., mix things up, don't let the body adapt to one kind of exercise, exercise more regularly, etc.). I bought fruits and vegetables, a new scale to track several body metrics (e.g., body fat percentage, since overall weight might not decrease during dieting, as muscle replaces fatty tissue), and had been good for awhile now (the visiting family was a clear exception). Then the little cookie pushers brought out their table with signs like "Good Cause" and "Noblesse Oblige". I've written elsewhere about my experience with them, so I will quote myself:
**** you, Girl Scouts. You and your Samoas and your Dulche de Leches. Didn't you know I just bought a new scale to track four different body markers? Didn't you see the *healthy* things I bought *right before* you sidled up with your table and "Good Cause" signs? The fruits and vegetables and reduced sodium/calorie soups? Didn't you know I would be helpless before you and your new flavors "Willpower Rot" andSo, two boxes later, I have issued a fatwa: Girl Scouts are an Abomination unto the Eyes of the Lord. A sweet, nummy-licious Abomination.
"Eat 'em, Fatty's"? Jerkfaces. All of you. This is all your fault.
In other news, it's testing season for my students. My personal favorite quote following an exam: "Nothing personal, but I hate you."
I figure I must be doing something right.
Alles Gute.
2 comments:
Those damn Girl Scouts try to trick you, too. They sell those "thin" mints. There is nothing thin about them. And there will be nothing thin about you after you each two goddamned boxes of them. Little bitches in ugly kilts undoing hours of cardio. Argg!
I was the only Brownie/Girl Scout in my neighborhood, so I always rocked the cookie sales.
BTW, you *are* doing something right. In my prior career, my colleague and I decided we weren't doing our jobs if at least one client per day didn't leave pissed at us. ;)
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